The festive season is often described as magical — full of lights, excitement, gatherings, and tradition. But for many children and young people, Christmas can feel overwhelming, stressful, or even unsafe. Changes in routine, sensory overload, family pressures, and past experiences can all make this time of year especially challenging.
At Safety Net, our Children & Young People’s Team supports families who have experienced domestic and sexual abuse, exploitation, and trauma. In this blog, Helen Davies, our Senior CYP Therapist, shares insight into why some children struggle more at Christmas — and what adults can do to help keep them safe, supported, and regulated.
Why Some Children Struggle More at Christmas
The holiday season brings joy for many, but it can also amplify feelings of stress and dysregulation. Children may experience:
✨ Sensory overwhelm
Bright lights, flashing decorations, loud music, and busy environments can overstimulate sensitive nervous systems. Excitement and stress both produce adrenaline, meaning the body can confuse them.
📅 Big changes in routine
School closures, late nights, travelling between households, and a lack of structure can make children feel unsettled. Many rely on predictable routines to feel safe.
🏠 Complex family dynamics
Children navigating multiple households, differing rules, or strained family relationships may feel confused or stressed. They may also pick up on adult anxiety or tension.
🎄 Past Christmas-related trauma
Previous difficult Christmases — involving conflict, loss, substance misuse, or abuse — can resurface through triggers during the holiday season.
😴 End-of-term exhaustion
By December, many young people are emotionally drained, making them more vulnerable to overwhelm.
Why Some Children Are More at Risk During the Holidays
Sadly, this season can be particularly unsafe for some families. Helen highlights key risks:
❗ Increase in domestic abuse
Incidents rise over the holidays due to financial stress, alcohol use, and more time spent at home. This means children may experience or witness more harm.
🚫 Loss of safe spaces
School, youth groups, and trusted adults are unavailable – removing daily respite.
🍷 Heightened substance use
Increased alcohol or drug use by caregivers can escalate volatility or neglect. Young people themselves may also experiment more.
🔄 Unstructured, unpredictable routines
Irregular meals, late bedtimes, excessive screen time, and overstimulation can contribute to dysregulation or “off-track” behaviour.
😣 Overwhelm leading to behavioural outbursts
When feelings build up with nowhere to go, they may come out as lashing out, shutting down, arguing, or meltdowns.
How to Support Children & Young People This Christmas
Helen shares many practical, trauma-informed strategies parents, carers, and professionals can use.
🛟 Create a safety plan (for older children/teens)
- Who can they call if home feels unsafe?
- Where could they go — a trusted relative, neighbour, or friend?
- Keep a small bag ready with essentials and comfort items.
- Make sure they know helplines and online support options.
💬 Focus on behaviour as communication
Instead of “naughty” or “bad,” try language like:
✔ “on-track” and “off-track”
This helps children understand emotions, not shame them.
👀 Prepare them for festive changes
Talk through what may look, sound, smell, taste, or feel different. Predictability reduces anxiety.
🧸 Support body and emotional regulation
Examples include:
- favourite soft toys
- scents on fabric
- hearts drawn on hands as connection symbols
- crunchy snacks
- noise-cancelling headphones
- weighted blankets
- quiet retreat spaces
📆 Stick to routine where possible
Routine doesn’t mean boring – it means safety.
Even small rituals (breakfast together, bedtime stories, walks) create stability.
🌙 Plan for emotional “aftercare”
Holding it together all day can lead to evening overwhelm. Offer:
- cosy cuddles on the sofa
- baths
- warm drinks
- quiet time
- music or silence
- snuggling under blankets
Adults need regulation too – children co-regulate with us.
Practical Sensory Strategies
Helen recommends simple adjustments:
- Avoid multiple screens running at once
- Wearing hoodies to soften noise
- Using headphones or preferred music
- Turning off flashing lights
- Reducing decoration overload
Movement and Outdoor Activities
Physical activity helps release tension, regulate emotions, and reset the nervous system. Try:
- nature walks
- raking leaves
- carrying logs
- scavenger hunts
- helping set the table
- sorting gifts by size or colour
- colouring, jigsaws, word searches
Connection Tools: Hand in Hand Parenting Techniques
Helen shares five powerful strategies to strengthen emotional connection:
1. Listening Partnerships
Adults supporting each other through confidential listening.
2. Staylistening
Staying close and calm during a child’s emotional moment:
“I’m here.”
“I’ll keep you safe.”
3. Special Time
One-on-one, child-led connection with full adult presence.
4. Setting Limits
Clear, calm boundaries:
“I can’t let you do that,” while staying connected.
5. Playlistening
Using laughter and play to release tension and build confidence.
Helpful Resources (Signposting)
- Beacon House (trauma resources): https://beaconhouse.org.uk/resources/
- Hand in Hand Parenting: https://www.handinhandparenting.org/
- Young Minds guidance: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/blog/how-to-help-your-child-if-christmas-makes-them-anxious/
A Final Word
Christmas can be a time of joy — but also a time of strain, overwhelm, and increased risk for many children and young people. By creating safer environments, maintaining connection, and noticing what’s underneath behaviour, we can make the festive season gentler and more supportive.
