Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. But for many people, especially survivors of abuse, it isn’t all chocolate and roses. It can bring up difficult and conflicting emotions, like sadness, anger, grief, numbness, or something else entirely.

You might feel disconnected from the Valentine’s celebrations you see on Instagram or with family and friends. Maybe this time of year stirs up painful memories or triggers negative self-talk. Or maybe you don’t quite know how you feel, and that’s okay too.

Our trauma-informed practitioners recommend journaling as a tool to process difficult thoughts and feelings. Writing things down can lift overwhelming emotions from your mind and place them somewhere safe, where you can begin to make sense of them.

You don’t need a special notebook to start journaling. You can write in the Notes app on your phone, on the back of a receipt, in a Word document, or even record a voice note. The important thing isn’t where you journal but that you’re giving yourself time and space to process what’s on your mind.

If writing full sentences feels overwhelming, a more visual approach might help. Try jotting down emotions in a mind map, using colours to highlight different feelings, or connecting thoughts with lines. Sometimes, seeing emotions laid out on paper can make them feel clearer and easier to untangle.

If you’re currently in counselling, journaling can also be a way to extend the work you’re doing in sessions. Think about what you would say to your counsellor if you were talking to them right now, and start writing from there.

If you find journaling helpful after a few tries, you might want to make it a regular habit. Last month, we talked about habit stacking – linking a new habit to something you already do. For example, you could journal after your morning coffee, before bed, or after a walk. There’s no pressure to write every day, but having a set time can make it feel more natural and part of your routine.

The most important thing is to let go of judgment. Your journal is for you, and there’s no need to filter or edit your thoughts. Let them be messy, unstructured, or unfinished. This is your space to be honest with yourself.

So, as Valentine’s Day approaches, remember this: your feelings are valid, and you deserve the time and space to process them fully.